Caring for someone in need comes from the heart, but it can be overwhelming when you don't have time to care for yourself, too. It's tempting to put your own needs aside so you can dedicate your time to a loved one, and feeling guilty for taking time for yourself is common. But balance can be found when you know where to start.
Don’t go it alone.
- Ask others for help. Start with family and friends.
- Keep less engaged family members informed.
- Set up a family conference, seek suggestions and talk about disagreements.
- Ask families with similar problems how they handled them.
- Involve the person you’re caring for. If possible, help the person take responsibility and join in decisions.
- Learn about your loved one’s condition. Find specialists for information and guidance.
- Tap local, state, and national resources. They can offer help with transportation, nutrition or day care
Focus on healthy foods like:
- Whole grains like brown rice, quinoa and bulgur.
- A wide variety of fresh fruits and vegetables.
- Lean poultry and fish like turkey, chicken and salmon.
- Nuts and legumes like beans, peas and lentils.
- Low-fat or fat free dairy.
- Mono- and poly- unsaturated fats like avocados, nuts, nut butters, plant based liquid oils, fatty fish, tofu, soybeans and flaxseeds.
- Limited amounts of sweets and alcohol.
Watch for Problems.
Mental and physical signs of caregiver stress:
- A lot of anger or fear
- A tendency to overreact
- Feeling depressed, isolated, or overburdened
- Thoughts of guilt, shame, or inadequacy
- Taking on more than you can handle
- Headaches
- Digestive upsets
- Weight loss or gain
- Trouble sleeping
- Fatigue
- Illness
Take a time out.
Be good to yourself. Take time away from caregiving and don’t neglect your personal and professional needs:
- Get lots of rest and exercise.
- Enjoy relaxing music.
- Eat nutritious meals.
- Visit with friends and plan leisure activities.
- Do deep breathing.
- Read a magazine.
- Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs or overeat.
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Write your feelings in a journal.
- Practice spiritual meditation.
- Set limits on what you can and cannot do.
- Realize you’re doing the best you can.
- Join a support group.
- Use community resources for help.
Get help.
It’s okay not to have all the answers. Seek help when you need it most:
- Call a support hotline.
- Speak with a counselor. A professional can help you understand your situation
- Talk with your religious advisor.
- Attend a support group. Groups can explain your loved one’s condition, ease tension and provide a sense of what’s important.
General Assistance Resources
AARP: Advocacy group with publications on aging including recent legislation.
https://aarp.org
Children of Aging Parents: Information on caregiving and referrals to support groups, care managers, and other resources.
https://www.CAPS4caregivers.org
Family Caregiver Alliance: Covers medical, social, public policy, and caregiving issues linked to brain impairments.
http://caregiver.org
National Council on the Aging: Information and advocacy.
http://www.ncoa.org
National Family Caregivers Association: Dedicated to aiding caregivers through education, research, and support.
https://caregiveraction.org
National Institute on Aging: Conducts and supports research, training, and information on aging.
https://www.nih.gov/
OWL: Focuses on issues unique to women as they age and offers fact sheets on caregiving.
http://www.owl-national.org
Well Spouse Foundation: Offers support to people caring for a sick spouse who need emotional care themselves.
http://www.wellspouse.org
Religious organizations often provide additional assistance
Resources for specific ailments.
SOURCE: The StayWell Company, LLC ©2021
Care you will love.