Sometimes, we live under expectations for what a holiday season should look and feel like. And sometimes, we lose ourselves in those expectations. This holiday season, set your intention with just one word.
If you could choose a word to describe how you would like to feel at the end of the year, what would you choose?
There is a difference here. This question requires you to focus on what you don’t want, and more importantly, what you do want. The answer doesn’t define your favorite part of the season, or what you expect. Rather, it helps you tune into the feelings, habits, people, places and things that help you stay aligned with your values, beliefs and goals. With the holidays packing a punch this time of year, this one word can do the very same.
When we ask this question to our participants, we get a wide variety of responses, each unique and personal to the person naming it. Words like simple, family, calm, jolly, love and slower are often among the top responses. Also, there are words like productive, consistent, healthy, and connected. Seeing what comes to mind when asked to summarize your desires in just one word can be fun.
Words are powerful.
History shows that words are powerful. They can both negatively and positively impact those receiving or using them. Martin Luther King Jr.’s I Have a Dream speech caused civil and political rights activists to take action, some of which were life-threatening, in order to make changes to future laws and policies that were racist in nature. Subhas Chandra Bose’s Give Me Blood and I Will Give You Freedom spurred war for the liberation of India from Britain. Quotes from Mahatma Gandhi, Christ, Mother Teresa, and even Elvis, echo the forbidden halls of the brain to think and therefore, feel differently. Furthermore, neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Newberg and communications expert, Mark Robert Waldman, proclaim that “a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” Now that’s really fun!
Think and feel positive.
Although words hold a lot of weight, finding just one positive word to summarize what you want can be tough. For many, this time of year feels less like a choice and more like a penance. There are gifts to buy, sometimes for people who don’t really need or want anything. There are cookies and desserts to bake and share, only to feel guilty for eating them later. There are parties to attend, whether you want to or not. There is magic to be spun, an elf’s backstory to create, and all manner of expectations that we put on ourselves to have this month be the most wonderful time of year.
But is it, really? A 2021 study by the American Psychiatric Association found that most Americans find the holidays to be incredibly stressful. You may know what you want to experience during the holidays (calm, simplicity, connectedness), but you don’t necessarily expect to get it.
Time to adjust.
And that in itself, is where you can make the change. By choosing how you want the holiday season to be, you can look for opportunities to create it for yourself. So, imagine just for a minute, that it’s New Year’s Day and you’re reflecting on the recent holiday season. What satisfied you the most? Are there any keywords that stand out to describe your feelings? Better yet, where can that chosen word be woven into how you show up this month?
Below are some ideas to help you get started.
Set and communicate boundaries for your time and energy.
Take, for example, this story of a mother who bakes dozens of cookies every year during the holidays for her friends and family. But half of them are thrown away every year. This year, she could agree to bake only a few for each of her immediate family members. What a great example of someone advocating for themselves while still caring for her loved ones! Where can you set a boundary this year, and who needs a heads-up?
Keep that word handy.
We can’t control everything that happens during the holidays, but we can be intentional about how we participate. Refer back to your chosen word when approaching events and interactions. And center your intentions to honor it. Reminding yourself of how you want to experience the season can help you adjust your course.
Embrace what happens.
No holiday celebration is perfect, and even with the best of intentions, things can turn out differently than predicted. Look for your word in the present moment and stay open to discovering it in new ways. You may be surprised to find calm in sitting with a cup of tea while observing the chaos of a family gathering. Or you may experience jolliness in the laughter after a traditional recipe goes awry. Let the holiday show up for you and reveal itself as its own gift!
What word have you chosen?
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